I HOPE THEY HAVE BOLOGNA IN HEAVEN

I lost my mother on Oct 5th.  I've been struggling, grieving and reflecting.  She had been a little over 2 years in long term nursing care, bed ridden.  She was not even able to sit up on the edge of the bed.  The CNA's would turn her and care for her each day, including feeding her.  Mom had many ailments but her dementia was the hardest to deal with.  Although she mostly had what I called a "happy confusion", there were times she would cry, get mad or shout out.  Her happy confusion would make her talk to "invisible people", always laughing with them and telling stories.  Sometimes she would be hosting parties and she would describe to me the beautiful gowns everyone was wearing.  Since she had macular degeneration and couldn't hardly see at all, this was touching to me.  She would tell me about the trips she'd take, mostly with her CNA Yanet (whom we affectionately called janet with a y).  They often rode on a train and she would explain to me that is why she was so tired, jet lag!

The dementia caused swallowing issues for mom and she had to have pureed food.....which of course was horrible and extremely close to inedible.  I'd try to bring her pureed pork and beans, vegetable soups, etc.  Eventually I went ahead and bit the bullet and gave her macaroni and cheese which she could mash in her mouth and swallow.  Mom would ask me ALL the time for eggrolls, sometime Publix chicken and ALWAYS, her favorite a bologna and cheese sandwich.  I tried.  I really tried.  I pureed bologna and cheese and told her it was pate.  didn't work.  I was able to find frozen egg rolls with really mushy chicken inside.  She was happy to get that, and was also able to mash and chop up some publix chicken into a chicken salad which sorta passed the test with her.  But I never could figure out the bologna.  She wanted it soooo bad, and she never forgot.  She always asked, and I always had to redirect her or tell her I would try to bring some next time.

I don't know much about the afterlife, but I wonder if they have food.  I sure hope they have bologna in heaven.

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