REMINDERS
Its hard. Its getting harder. There are reminders of mom everywhere. Even though I still haven't fully processed the entire thought that she is gone, I am still reminded of her at almost every turn. Its tough that its Halloween season. She loved decorating. She loved Halloween decorations and as she got older she actually wanted to dress up with me. She won first prize as a frog one year when she was a resident at Hudson Manor. She carried on and on and got so mad thinking that I "fixed" the contest. She said "oh, i'm only a frog for gods sake". Then the next year we dressed as Halloween beauty queens, and last year we were cats complete with long claws. I asked her several weeks ago what she wanted to be this year. She wanted to be her doctor, Dr, Diasti and I could be his assistant Sherissa. She was just so funny.
I walk around the stores and look at all the Halloween decorations. Its ok. But then I will see something like a skull with big light up eyes, that I just KNOW she would love. Or a big scary, hairy spider. It makes me smile, but it does bring a tear.
Christmas will be hard. I already know when I open the Christmas boxes and come face to face with her Christmas stocking that "shouts" GRAMA, in big sparkly gold writing, it will be like a gut punch. Every year I would fill the stocking, we would wrap and bring gifts. It got to the point we had to just put the gifts into bags and not wrap the stocking stuffers cause it was too hard for her to unwrap and she literally got tired. She'd always say, "why do you keep getting me so much stuff, I don't need anything". Yet on the other hand, almost every time I visited, as long as she was awake, one of the first things she'd say to me was "what'd you bring me?" Even if it was a little something from the dollar tree, she wanted it, SO she got it.
She loved junk and she loved clutter and for some reason she didn't care when things didn't match. Her Christmas village consisted of village houses and stores.....then amongst the houses was a scarecrow, and a gingerbread man (who was about 3 times the size of the houses). There was a teddy bear bank around the same size as the houses. Somewhere there was a skeleton, and also lots of happy meal toys. Its what made her happy and isn't that what its about? Just to be happy
I walk around the stores and look at all the Halloween decorations. Its ok. But then I will see something like a skull with big light up eyes, that I just KNOW she would love. Or a big scary, hairy spider. It makes me smile, but it does bring a tear.
Christmas will be hard. I already know when I open the Christmas boxes and come face to face with her Christmas stocking that "shouts" GRAMA, in big sparkly gold writing, it will be like a gut punch. Every year I would fill the stocking, we would wrap and bring gifts. It got to the point we had to just put the gifts into bags and not wrap the stocking stuffers cause it was too hard for her to unwrap and she literally got tired. She'd always say, "why do you keep getting me so much stuff, I don't need anything". Yet on the other hand, almost every time I visited, as long as she was awake, one of the first things she'd say to me was "what'd you bring me?" Even if it was a little something from the dollar tree, she wanted it, SO she got it.
She loved junk and she loved clutter and for some reason she didn't care when things didn't match. Her Christmas village consisted of village houses and stores.....then amongst the houses was a scarecrow, and a gingerbread man (who was about 3 times the size of the houses). There was a teddy bear bank around the same size as the houses. Somewhere there was a skeleton, and also lots of happy meal toys. Its what made her happy and isn't that what its about? Just to be happy
Such a good daughter! You did so much for her. She sounds like a fun person to have been around!
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