A Day in the Life of Me and Other Random Sh*t

     THE FIRST CHRISTMAS No, not the VERY first Christmas.....I am referring for the first christmas that my husband and I shared.....well not even the first one we spent together, but our first married Christmas.  Christmas as husband and wife!  We had only been married a little over a month, and had no money to buy a christmas tree.  I was so happy when my dad went out and bought a tabletop artificial tree for himself and mom, and offered their old artificial tree to me.  It was 5 foot at best, and dad had nailed it to a wooden platform to make it taller!  Over the years, one family member or the other, had fallen into its branches and/or knocked it over, so it had several "bare spaces".  But that was ok.   I got the tree into the apartment and then i thought hmmmm, no decorations.  And of course, no money for decorations.  The next day i went to the store and bought several bags of bows (the sticky back kind that you ...

Spring!  Easter particularly!  For years and years and years now, I would buy an Easter Lily plant for mom.  She loved them. When she was a bit younger, I remember her planting them in the yard.  The "bulbs", she called them.  This was after the flowers all bloomed and she had enjoyed them in the house.  She always said "they will come up next year".  I don't remember if they ever did.  But as she got older, I would plant the bulb after the flowers died, and again, I don't remember if they ever "came up".  As mom got older and lived on her own in her apartment nearby, I would still bring her a potted Easter Lily each year.   She would always count the buds to see how many blooms she would have.  She wanted me to buy the one that had the most!  \ So it became a hunt each year.  The hunt for the Easter lily that had the most blooms.  Sometimes I would visit several stores.  I remember one year when I w...

Shopping has always been my therapy and happy place.  I never had to spend a lot of money, in fact, the fun was in finding the deals and buying inexpensive things.  Also browsing through items, etc. Its funny tho, that since my mom has passed, here I am looking and begging for some therapy, for something, anything to lessen the pain and grief and to make me feel better.  And shopping doesn't work!  why?  because each time I shopped, I would always buy something for mom, among my other purchases.  It might have just been boost or body wash, but usually always some kind of fun trinket, gift or candy.  She was like a little kid, asking me every time I visited, "what'd you bring me?"  I never disappointed her, even if it was just smashed up macaroni and cheese or a donut where she could only eat the cream inside. so shopping is now bittersweet.  bittersweet, difficult and even sometimes upsetting.  every day I see soooo many things,...

Its 4:30 am.  I've only been asleep since 2:30 am, and i'm awake to use the bathroom.  Then, of course, I cant get back to sleep.  I get up and go out in the kitchen.  Probably I need to eat something.  Then I will sleep.  I have cereal and I surf on the computer.  Now, the dog has to go out I take Dixie quietly out the front door without her leash, for a quick pee.  She goes all the way over next door and onto the middle of their lawn.  I yell/whisper at her, and she looks at me as if to say "what are you gonna do, you don't even have any shoes on".  I finally get her back on track where shes supposed to pee and she does her business.  In the house we go.    Dixie gets a treat for making outside.  The cat gets a treat cause the dog got a treat. Now, off to bed we go.  I take Dixie next to me and we snuggle up.  After a few minutes, in comes babysocks the cat and jumps up and walks all over us....