I SIMPLY HAD TO
We drove to port richey yesterday, which was about an hours drive. why? I woke up in the morning and just simply had to.
The drive at least gave me the opportunity to work on some crochet blankets as hubby drove............and talk. Its a little easier this way as he is captive.
We had to stop on the way to buy some flowers for the graves. Yes, port richey is where the cemetery is. Visiting my dad, my mom and victors mom. Victor always has to buy purple flowers as it was his moms favorite. I used to get all different kinds for dad, but since mom only passed recently, I've only left flowers for her once. We stopped at the store and Victor found his purple. I looked for a while and decided on Christmas flowers, red poinsettia and gold sparkly poinsettia. Even shopping for them was quiet and somber.
We drove the rest of the way to cemetery. Its always been a bit hard for us, even before my mother passed. Its where we grew up. Memories are everywhere and then death is there as well. Change at every corner, etc etc. Quite a mixture of tears and happiness.
Once we get to the cemetery, it is quiet as usual. We always stop at Victors moms first. We park, and then walk, crunching our way thru crispy, autumn leaves which totally cover the ground, and stepping on huge pecan nuts which have fallen from the trees. When Chrissy was young she used to gather the nuts and place them on grandma kayes grave. The flowers from a few weeks ago, are not yet faded and still look nice. We place them onto another grave, which has no flowers, and then we put the new ones on my mother in laws grave. Victor makes his peace, says his piece and then off we go.
Over by mom and dads grave its like being a totally different place. No trees, no leaves, no nuts, but lots of long, somewhat fluffy and marshy grass. I walk to the place I kind of now hate and of course immediately notice the difference in dads faded stone and moms bright new sparkly one. We do the same with the remaining flowers on their grave, leaving them for someone else and I put the Christmas flowers down. After saying I love you, we leave.
Funny, I knew I would be doing this some day and I knew it would hurt. I just feel so numb. Such is life................and death.
Back in the car, crocheting and talking and heading home.
The drive at least gave me the opportunity to work on some crochet blankets as hubby drove............and talk. Its a little easier this way as he is captive.
We had to stop on the way to buy some flowers for the graves. Yes, port richey is where the cemetery is. Visiting my dad, my mom and victors mom. Victor always has to buy purple flowers as it was his moms favorite. I used to get all different kinds for dad, but since mom only passed recently, I've only left flowers for her once. We stopped at the store and Victor found his purple. I looked for a while and decided on Christmas flowers, red poinsettia and gold sparkly poinsettia. Even shopping for them was quiet and somber.
We drove the rest of the way to cemetery. Its always been a bit hard for us, even before my mother passed. Its where we grew up. Memories are everywhere and then death is there as well. Change at every corner, etc etc. Quite a mixture of tears and happiness.
Once we get to the cemetery, it is quiet as usual. We always stop at Victors moms first. We park, and then walk, crunching our way thru crispy, autumn leaves which totally cover the ground, and stepping on huge pecan nuts which have fallen from the trees. When Chrissy was young she used to gather the nuts and place them on grandma kayes grave. The flowers from a few weeks ago, are not yet faded and still look nice. We place them onto another grave, which has no flowers, and then we put the new ones on my mother in laws grave. Victor makes his peace, says his piece and then off we go.
Over by mom and dads grave its like being a totally different place. No trees, no leaves, no nuts, but lots of long, somewhat fluffy and marshy grass. I walk to the place I kind of now hate and of course immediately notice the difference in dads faded stone and moms bright new sparkly one. We do the same with the remaining flowers on their grave, leaving them for someone else and I put the Christmas flowers down. After saying I love you, we leave.
Funny, I knew I would be doing this some day and I knew it would hurt. I just feel so numb. Such is life................and death.
Back in the car, crocheting and talking and heading home.
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